The Gondor King
by Master Darth Warious - Lady of Chaos
Summary: A LotR spoof on the Lion King
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own this story plot. It's Disney. Yes it's a spoof.  
  
I also don't own LotR.  
  
********  
  
The Gondor King  
  
Long, long, ago in a place far, far, away...  
  
The people of Gondor rejoiced. The heir to the Gondor Lands had been born, his name was Simbagorn.  
  
Simbagorn was blessed by Rafikirond, the wise pointy-eared baboon, on the day of his birth.  
  
But elsewhere in the Gondor Land was his evil uncle, Scarnethor, sulking at the fact an heir had been born to the King of the Gondor Lands.  
  
"And I was next in line until that little brat was born!" he fumed pacing back and forth. "What can I do now?" and Scarnethor began to plot.  
  
A few years later...  
  
Simbagorn was a young ladcub and had made friends with a lasscub whose name was Nalarwen. The two played often and always seemed to find away into trouble.  
  
This particular time, they ended up in the Mordor Graveyard, at Uncle Scarnethors urging. A place neither of them were ever allowed to go.  
  
As always, they managed to rid themselves of the annoying guard in charge of watching them. Inside the Mordor Graveyard they encountered three stooge orcs. The leader of the stooge orcs, Edomir, was about to kill the two cubs when The King came to their rescue.  
  
Once safely in the Gondor lands The King scolded his son about how what he did was wrong. Simbagorn apologized and things were fine for the next few days.  
  
Meanwhile in the Mordor Graveyard...  
  
Scarnethor was furious.  
  
"I practicly giftwrped those cubs and you couldn't even dispose of them! You orcs are pathetic!"  
  
The orcs of course were oblivious to Scarnethor's insult and continued doing...whatever it is.  
  
The Scarnethor got and idea, an wonderful idea. A wonderful awful idea.  
  
"What we need to do is get rid of The King."  
  
All three orcs stoped what they were doing.  
  
"What is He sick?"  
  
Scarnethor hauled Edomir up by the neck and said, "No fool we're going to kill Him, and Simbagorn too." He dropped the orc.  
  
"Great idea who needs a king! Gondor needs no king!"  
  
Scarnethor nodded, "Yes Gondor doesn't need a king. But I will be the Steward of the Gondor Lands!"  
  
All of the orcs in the Mordor Graveyard cheered.  
  
A few days later Scarnethor took Simbagorn out to an deep valley gorge and told him there would be a surprise in a few moments.  
  
At Scarnethor's signal, Edomir and his two goons started a stampede of vegetarian Balrogs.  
  
Simbagorn tried to outrun the stampede but was soon trapped.  
  
A little while away The King was talking with and advisor when Scarnethor came running up. "Stampede of vegetarian Balrogs! In the Gorge! Simbagorn is down there!"  
  
The King immediately sprang up and ran at full to the Gorge.  
  
Once there he saw Simbagorn clinging for dear life to a small rock outcropping.  
  
"Simbagorn!" The King yelled.  
  
"Dad! Help me!" Simbagorn yelled back.  
  
"I'm coming Simbagorn!" And The King scrambled down the steep rocky side of the gorge. He got to Simbagorn and was able to get him to a safe ledge away from the stampede. He tried to climb up after Simbagorn, but a tall Balrog pushed him away from the sides.  
  
Simbagorn watched in horror as his father was carried off. But then, whether by chance or a miracle, he saw The King catch a small out cropping further down the way and began to climb up.  
  
Scarnethor was waiting for The King at the top. The King found the rest of the side to slippery to climb and called out, "Scarethorn! Help me!"  
  
Scarnethorn grabbed The King's hands and in a deadly voice whispered to The King, "Long live The King." Then Scarnethorn threw The King's hands back away from the cliff causing Him to loose His balance.  
  
The King fell into the shadow of the stampede, Simbagorn above him watching helplessly cried out, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
After the stampede was gone Simbagorn went in search of his father. He found Him laying on the ground, unmoving.  
  
"Father?" Simbagorn called approaching him. "Come on dad we got to go. Wake up." But The King didn't move and Simbagorn realized that his father was dead. He curled up by His side and cried.  
  
"Simbagorn, poor Simbagorn." Scarnethor said approaching the ladcub.  
  
"How could this happen?" Simbagorn asked.  
  
Scarnethor convinced Simbagorn that it was his fault that his father died, "What would your mother think?"  
  
"I don't know," Simbagorn replied, now fearful.  
  
"Run," his uncle replied, "Run away and never return."  
  
Simbagorn looked up in fear at his uncle and then ran away from the Gondor Lands.  
  
Edomir and is orcs approached Scarnethor.  
  
Without looking at his hench-orcs he spoke, "Kill him."  
  
And off the orcs ran.  
  
Simbagorn escaped the orcs and ran into the desert, running for days in through it.  
  
Back in the Gondor Lands Scarnethor told the others of The King's death. "And now the approach the dawning of a new era where we will co-exist with the orcs!" And the land was covered with darkness.  
  
Running through the desert 'bowling for buzzards' were two good friends Timonli and Pumboles. The two buddies came across little Simbagorn passed out on the ground.  
  
Timonli the dwarf-meerkat saw what Simbagorn was. "Yeeks it's a hucub!" He scrambled away, "Run Pumboles! Move it!"  
  
"Aww Timonli he's so cute and all alone. Can we keep him?" the dumb pointy- eared warthog asked.  
  
"Pumboles are you nuts? This guy's a Hucub. Hucubs hate guys like us!"  
  
After much arguing they finally decided to help the unconscious lad-cub.  
  
Simbagorn awoke in a shaded oasis. "Where am I?" he asked.  
  
"Glad to see your awake laddie," Timonli said getting up, "as for where you are, you're right here."  
  
"Where's here?"  
  
Timonli explained that they were in an oasis and that he and Pumboles had found him.  
  
Once Simbagorn was up and moving the two friends offered to let Simbagorn join their small group. Simbagorn accepted and they went off to the jungle that Timonli and Pumboles lived in.  
  
Simbagorn grew up with his new friends in the Jungle of Bree.  
  
A/N: How's that for starters? 


	2. part 2

Disclaimer: See part 1  
  
*******  
  
One day Timonli and Pumboles were out hunting for grubbits.  
  
Pumboles was stalking a grubbit on his own when a fierce Hucubess attacked.  
  
Pimboles scrambled back into the jungle as fast as he could the Hucubess close behind. Pumboles ran around and then got stuck in an oddly formed tree branch.  
  
Timonli ran up to his stuck friend hearing his yelling. "Pumboles? What's wrong?"  
  
"She's gonna eat me!" Pumboles screamed.  
  
Timlonli looked over Pumboles and saw the very hungry Hucub fast approaching.  
  
"Geez, why do I always have to save you?!?" Timonli said attempting to push Pumbloes through the branch. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  
  
The Hucubess closed in on the two and was almost in biting distance when Simbagorn tackled the female to the side.  
  
The two Hucubs were locked in an intense battle but then the female pinned Simbagorn. Simbagorn looked up into the Hucubess face. "Nalawen?"  
  
The Hucubess backed off and away from Simbagorn. "Who are you?"  
  
"It's me, Simbagorn."  
  
"Simbagorn?"  
  
The long lost friends hugged affectionately and both started asking questions of each other until...  
  
"Hey! What's going on here?!?" Timonli yelled.  
  
"Oh yeah, Timonli, this is Nalawen, shes my best friend!"  
  
"Friend?!?"  
  
"Yeah. Hey Pumboles! Come over here!"  
  
Pumboles pulled himself from the tree branch.  
  
"Nalawen this is Pumboles. Pumboles, Nalawen."  
  
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," Pumboles said to Nalawen bowing slightly.  
  
"The pleasures all mine." She replied.  
  
"How do you do? Whoa woah time out! Wait a minute!" Timonli yelled. Once he had everyones attention he continued, "Let me get this straight; you know her, she knows you but she wants to eat him, and everybody's okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING!!!"  
  
"Relax Timonli." Simbagorn said trying to calm his friend down.  
  
"Wait till everyone finds out you were here all this time." Nalawen said excitedly.  
  
"Nobody has to know." Simbagorn said hurredly.  
  
"Well of course they do everyone thinks you're dead."  
  
"They do?"  
  
"Yeah. Scarnethor told us about the stampede."  
  
"He did? What else did he tell you?"  
  
"What else matters? You're alive! And that means, you're The King."  
  
"King?" Timonli interjected, "Lady have you got your hucubs crossed."  
  
Pumboles looked up at his friend in awe. "The King. Your magesty!" he said down on his knees befor Simbagorn. "I gravel at your feet."  
  
"Stop it." Sambagorn said embarrassed.  
  
"It's not gravel its grovel, and don't he's not The King. Are ya?" Timonli asked looking up at his friend.  
  
"No." Simbagorn protested.  
  
"Simbagorn!"  
  
"No I'm not The King. Maybe I was gonna be but that was a long time ago."  
  
"Let me get this straight. You're The King? And you never told us?"  
  
"Look I'm still the same guy."  
  
"But with power," Timonli interrupted.  
  
Nalawen looked at Timonli. "Could you excuse us for a few minutes?"  
  
"Hey what ever she has to say, she can say in front of us. Right Simbagorn?" "Maybe you ought to go." Simbagorn replied.  
  
"It starts." Timonli said walking away with Pumboles. "Ya think you know a guy."  
  
As the two walked of Simbagorn spoke, "Timonli and Pumboles ya learn to love 'em."  
  
He turned to look a Nalawen but she turned her face away. "It's like your back from the dead. You don't know how much this will mean to everyone. What it means to me."  
  
"It's okay." Simbagorn said caressing Nalawen.  
  
"I missed you so much."  
  
The two walked off.  
  
"I don't understand something; you've been alive all this time, why didn't you come back to pride rock?" Nalawen asked.  
  
"I really needed to get out on my own, live my own life. I did and its great!"  
  
"We've really needed you at home." Nalawen said softly.  
  
"No one needs me."  
  
"Yes we do. You're The King."  
  
"I'm not The King, Scarnethor is."  
  
"Simbagorn, he let the orcs take over Minas Rock."  
  
"He did?"  
  
"Everythings destroyed! There's no food, no water, Simbagorn if you don't do something soon everyone will starve!"  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?!?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand!" The two hucubs argued and  
  
"Fine," Nalawen said abd stalked off into the night leaving Simbagorn to his thoughts.  
  
Simbagorn ran out into a field under the stars and cried out to his dead father, "You said you'd always be there for me! But your not. It's because of me. It's all my fault."  
  
Then Simbagorn heard something...someone was singing an annoying tune. He turned to find its source. A pointy-eared baboon was the source.  
  
Simbagorn turned and walked away from the irritating creature.  
  
Little did he know the baboon followed him.  
  
Simbagorn found a quiet place by a river and lay down gazing into it.  
  
A rock hit the water and saw the singing baboon in front of him swinging in a near-by tree. "Come on will you cut it out!" Simbagorn said getting annoyed.  
  
"Can't cut it out. It grow right back." The pointy-eared baboon replied following Simbagorn.  
  
"Creepy little monkey." Simbagorn muttered. "Will you stop following me? Who are you?"  
  
"The question is who are you?"  
  
"I thought I knew, now I'm not so sure."  
  
"Well, I know who you are. Shhh come here it's a secret."  
  
Simbagorn rolled his eyes and leaned closer to hear. Rafikirond started singing his song again.  
  
"Enough already! What does that mean any way?"  
  
"It means you're a baboon...and I'm not." Rafikirond laughed.  
  
"I think you're a little confused."  
  
"Wrong! I'm not the one who's confused you don't even know who you are."  
  
"Oh and I suppose you know?"  
  
"Sure do. You're Mufasrathorn's boy."  
  
Simbagorn turened to look at him.  
  
"Bye!" and off Rafikirond ran.  
  
"Hey wait!" Simbagorn yelled and ran after him.  
  
Finally Simbagorn caught up with the monkey. "You knew my father?"  
  
"Correction, I know your father."  
  
"I hate to tell you this but; he died a long time ago."  
  
"Nope! Wrong again! He's alive! And I show him to you. You follow Rafikirond he knows the way!" and off he ran again Simbagorn following him closely.  
  
They stopped a few minutes later.  
  
"Look down there." Rafikirond whispered.  
  
Simbagorn looked down into a pool of water. "That's not my father, it's only my reflection."  
  
"No." Rafikirond replied. "Look harder."  
  
Reluctantly, Simbagorn obeyed. Slowly his image changed into his father's.  
  
"You see," Rafikirond said, "he lives in you."  
  
(co-A/N Maul: When do you think she's coming back? co-A/N Haldir: I don't know. Look! She left her story on. co-A/N Maul: Hmmmmm. I know. We'll finish it for her and post it. co-A/N Haldir: That's a good idea. Maybe she'll be in a better mood after. co-A/N Maul: now lets see. Aha! Got it.)  
  
Then a large Uruk-Sith by the name of Darth Lurtz came, destroyed Simbagorn and Rafikirond.  
  
(co-A/N Haldir: That wasn't nice. co-A/N Maul: Too bad. co-A/N Haldir: Get off the keyboard it's my turn.)  
  
Then Simbagorn came back to life and killed Darth Lurtz. Simbagorn went to fufill his destiny.  
  
(co-A/N Maul: What?!? That's so lame! co-A/N Haldir: Well you made a mess of the story. I had to fix it some how. co-A/N Maul: *muttering* Coming from the guy who loves Disney films. co-A/N Haldir: I heard that! co-A/N Maul: I don't care! Get off the keyboard! co-A/N Haldir: No you messed the story up last time! *big fight ensues* co- A/N Maul: good he's out cold.)  
  
Anyway...Simbagron went and fought Scarnethorn and died.  
  
Scarnethorn cackled triumphantly until his plastic mask-wearing-lackey who breathed so loud it woke the unconscious co-author...but I knocked him out again.  
  
So the Pmwl threw his master into a generator shaft where he died.  
  
And they all lived horribly ever after.  
  
(co-A/N Maul: Good. Finished. Now to post it.)  
  
*******  
  
co-A/N Maul: *Using the darkside* Review me! 


	3. The REAL part 2

A/N: disclaimer: See part 1.  
  
I deeply apologize for my Co-authors interference.  
  
Here is the REAL part 2 in it's entirety before I got a migraine from their whining.  
  
Yes I'll keep your 'masterpiece' up Maul. Just stop complaining. Please?  
  
Thank you to all my reviewers and your patience with my annoying co authors.  
  
**********  
  
One day Timonli and Pumboles were out hunting for grubbits.  
  
Pumboles was stalking a grubbit on his own when a fierce Hucubess attacked.  
  
Pimboles scrambled back into the jungle as fast as he could the Hucubess close behind. Pumboles ran around and then got stuck in an oddly formed tree branch.  
  
Timonli ran up to his stuck friend hearing his yelling. "Pumboles? What's wrong?"  
  
"She's gonna eat me!" Pumboles screamed.  
  
Timlonli looked over Pumboles and saw the very hungry Hucub fast approaching.  
  
"Geez, why do I always have to save you?!?" Timonli said attempting to push Pumbloes through the branch. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  
  
The Hucubess closed in on the two and was almost in biting distance when Simbagorn tackled the female to the side.  
  
The two Hucubs were locked in an intense battle but then the female pinned Simbagorn. Simbagorn looked up into the Hucubess face. "Nalawen?"  
  
The Hucubess backed off and away from Simbagorn. "Who are you?"  
  
"It's me, Simbagorn."  
  
"Simbagorn?"  
  
The long lost friends hugged affectionately and both started asking questions of each other until...  
  
"Hey! What's going on here?!?" Timonli yelled.  
  
"Oh yeah, Timonli, this is Nalawen, shes my best friend!"  
  
"Friend?!?"  
  
"Yeah. Hey Pumboles! Come over here!"  
  
Pumboles pulled himself from the tree branch.  
  
"Nalawen this is Pumboles. Pumboles, Nalawen."  
  
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," Pumboles said to Nalawen bowing slightly.  
  
"The pleasures all mine." She replied.  
  
"How do you do? Whoa woah time out! Wait a minute!" Timonli yelled. Once he had everyones attention he continued, "Let me get this straight; you know her, she knows you but she wants to eat him, and everybody's okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING!!!"  
  
"Relax Timonli." Simbagorn said trying to calm his friend down.  
  
"Wait till everyone finds out you were here all this time." Nalawen said excitedly.  
  
"Nobody has to know." Simbagorn said hurredly.  
  
"Well of course they do everyone thinks you're dead."  
  
"They do?"  
  
"Yeah. Scarnethor told us about the stampede."  
  
"He did? What else did he tell you?"  
  
"What else matters? You're alive! And that means, you're The King."  
  
"King?" Timonli interjected, "Lady have you got your hucubs crossed."  
  
Pumboles looked up at his friend in awe. "The King. Your magesty!" he said down on his knees befor Simbagorn. "I gravel at your feet."  
  
"Stop it." Sambagorn said embarrassed.  
  
"It's not gravel its grovel, and don't he's not The King. Are ya?" Timonli asked looking up at his friend.  
  
"No." Simbagorn protested.  
  
"Simbagorn!"  
  
"No I'm not The King. Maybe I was gonna be but that was a long time ago."  
  
"Let me get this straight. You're The King? And you never told us?"  
  
"Look I'm still the same guy."  
  
"But with power," Timonli interrupted.  
  
Nalawen looked at Timonli. "Could you excuse us for a few minutes?"  
  
"Hey what ever she has to say, she can say in front of us. Right Simbagorn?" "Maybe you ought to go." Simbagorn replied.  
  
"It starts." Timonli said walking away with Pumboles. "Ya think you know a guy."  
  
As the two walked of Simbagorn spoke, "Timonli and Pumboles ya learn to love 'em."  
  
He turned to look a Nalawen but she turned her face away. "It's like your back from the dead. You don't know how much this will mean to everyone. What it means to me."  
  
"It's okay." Simbagorn said caressing Nalawen.  
  
"I missed you so much."  
  
The two walked off.  
  
"I don't understand something; you've been alive all this time, why didn't you come back to pride rock?" Nalawen asked.  
  
"I really needed to get out on my own, live my own life. I did and its great!"  
  
"We've really needed you at home." Nalawen said softly.  
  
"No one needs me."  
  
"Yes we do. You're The King."  
  
"I'm not The King, Scarnethor is."  
  
"Simbagorn, he let the orcs take over Minas Rock."  
  
"He did?"  
  
"Everythings destroyed! There's no food, no water, Simbagorn if you don't do something soon everyone will starve!"  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?!?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand!" The two hucubs argued and  
  
"Fine," Nalawen said abd stalked off into the night leaving Simbagorn to his thoughts.  
  
Simbagorn ran out into a field under the stars and cried out to his dead father, "You said you'd always be there for me! But your not. It's because of me. It's all my fault."  
  
Then Simbagorn heard something...someone was singing an annoying tune. He turned to find its source. A pointy-eared baboon was the source.  
  
Simbagorn turned and walked away from the irritating creature.  
  
Little did he know the baboon followed him.  
  
Simbagorn found a quiet place by a river and lay down gazing into it.  
  
A rock hit the water and saw the singing baboon in front of him swinging in a near-by tree. "Come on will you cut it out!" Simbagorn said getting annoyed.  
  
"Can't cut it out. It grow right back." The pointy-eared baboon replied following Simbagorn.  
  
"Creepy little monkey." Simbagorn muttered. "Will you stop following me? Who are you?"  
  
"The question is who are you?"  
  
"I thought I knew, now I'm not so sure."  
  
"Well, I know who you are. Shhh come here it's a secret."  
  
Simbagorn rolled his eyes and leaned closer to hear. Rafikirond started singing his song again.  
  
"Enough already! What does that mean any way?"  
  
"It means you're a baboon...and I'm not." Rafikirond laughed.  
  
"I think you're a little confused."  
  
"Wrong! I'm not the one who's confused you don't even know who you are."  
  
"Oh and I suppose you know?"  
  
"Sure do. You're Mufasrathorn's boy."  
  
Simbagorn turened to look at him.  
  
"Bye!" and off Rafikirond ran.  
  
"Hey wait!" Simbagorn yelled and ran after him.  
  
Finally Simbagorn caught up with the monkey. "You knew my father?"  
  
"Correction, I know your father."  
  
"I hate to tell you this but; he died a long time ago."  
  
"Nope! Wrong again! He's alive! And I show him to you. You follow Rafikirond he knows the way!" and off he ran again Simbagorn following him closely.  
  
They stopped a few minutes later.  
  
"Look down there." Rafikirond whispered.  
  
Simbagorn looked down into a pool of water. "That's not my father, it's only my reflection."  
  
"No." Rafikirond replied. "Look harder."  
  
Reluctantly, Simbagorn obeyed. Slowly his image changed into his father's.  
  
"You see," Rafikirond said, "he lives in you."  
  
All the doubt in Simbagorn's mind evaporated and he knew his destiny. "I'm going back." Simbagorn told the pointy-eared baboon, and off he ran.  
  
He ran across the desert for the rest of the night and all the next day.  
  
Simbagorn reached the edge of the Gondor Lands by late afternoon, but you couldn't really tell for the land had fallen into shadow.  
  
Simbagorn surveyed his lands grimly but then heard a voice call out, "Simbagorn!"  
  
It was Nalawen. She came up to him. "It's terrible isn't it."  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"Woah, talk about your fixer-upper." Another voice said.  
  
"Timonli, Pumboles, what are you doing here?"  
  
"We came to help." Timonli replied.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Quickly the two Hucubs infiltrated Minas Rock as Timonli and Pumboles distracted the Orc guards.  
  
"You rally the people. I'll look for Scarnethor." Simbagorn said and the two parted ways.  
  
Simbagorn found Scarnethor talking to the hunters of his people.  
  
Scarnethor struck one and Simbagron rushed down.  
  
Scarnethor backed away, "No! Mufasanathorn, you're dead." But then the Steward of the Gondor Lands looked again. "Oh, Simbagorn how very nice to see you again...alive."  
  
Edomir slid back into the shadows.  
  
A few more words were spent but still ended in a ferocious battle between the two opposing sides.  
  
In the end Simbagorn won and let Scarnethor go.  
  
Scarnethor, though, ran into a bush that was on fire and jumped off of Minas rock to his death.  
  
The Orcs were pushed back into the Mordor Graveyard, and the Shadow was gone from the Gondor Lands.  
  
Then all lived happy ever after. The end.  
  
*****************  
  
A/N: Please review. If there is another spoof you would like me to attempt please include it in your review.  
  
If you like funny LotR fictions read the stories written by Elf with a Lightsaber and review them. Thank you. 


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